Defenders of the Cake
  • defendersofthecake
22 episodes
In these hard and desperate times, there are those who are willing to stand fight. Dylan Gonzalez is not one of those people. From within the confines of his apartment, he has formed a coalition of fellow schlubs and miscreants, the Defenders of the Cake, saving the world with half-baked laughs and cheap thrills in the face of a mounting crisis and beyond.


Episode 22 - Live Long and Prosper, Eh
2021 Feb 221h 53m 28s
Fellow Kevin Smith fan and member of the Canadian Contingency, Dave Mader, is joining our fearless leader to talk about Canucks in the Dirty Jerz, perilous partying in the Great White North, America keeping it standard and not metric, bad wrestling movies, Dave's podcasting endeavors from a two-man show to his current Star Trek one, give the Star Wars franchise a lashing, the modern age of Trek, the shifting TV medium, Henry Cavill's killer mustache, and why the MCU owes a debt to Trek.
Episode 21 - $1,000 in Poop
2021 Feb 121h 30m 33s
Defenders of the Cake is back! Kicking off 2021, Dylan's college pal Tiff is in town to reminisce on a lot of college talk, including murder, $5k in dookie removal, exploding root beer, borrowing Dylan's pants, a Jell-O shot surplus, and Wolverine being on too many teams, plus her role as an editor at Kodansha, a peek behind the curtains of when Dylan was a Marvel intern, a lot of Attack on Titan chatter, getting to Level 10 at wanking it in Skyrim, unwarranted CyberPunk dicks, and a hard stan for Granny.
Episode 20 - Your Brain's Not Done Cooking
2020 Dec 312h 30m 18s
It's the last episode of the year on the last day of the year and it's a special two and a half-hour bonanza featuring two of the funniest people on the interwebs, Girl, That's Scary! Kat and Jazz join Dylan on many a weighty topics, such as being true 40 oz connoisseurs, why you have to follow the markers, the glory days of PC gaming, Monopoly stress, oh the place's you'll go (when COVID free), Rev. Run dishing out some unintentional fear of God, Sisqo raking it in, birthday months, why your brain's not done cooking, throw a lot of people under the bus and leave them there, dissect Midsommar and Audition, dig up Pretty Ricky, evade dumb dumbs and the Twitter cesspool, upload their consciousness to the Neopets cloud, alien gas, giant naked anime, and how it is free to shut the fuck up.
Episode 19 - Local Boys
2020 Dec 261h 51m 40s
"I ask ya: Is this a job for an intelligent man?"
Episode 18 - Blunt Prophet Raids Again
2020 Dec 111h 29m 44s
Local corrupt politician, Blunt Prophet, is back to wax poetic on the long lasting impact of The Transplants and why you shouldn't dismiss the formative bands of your youth. He and Captain Mundane (aka Dylan) also stan for Signal, lament Apple products, come to terms with the fact that driving sucks, the wild and crazy paths of Death Grips and Nails, the consistency of Deafheaven, why you should spend your high times cooking, and engage in some by the book bagel talk.
Episode 17 - Anti-Monkey Butt
2020 Nov 241h 39m 47s
The center of a podcast universe (and one possibly disgruntled brother) explodes into action to help the Defenders of the Cake against... a turkey? Mike, Jim, and Shaun of Jim's BBQ Pod and Wrestling World Order stop in to address Dylan's repeated bouts of pink eye, some COVID blues, the titular Anti-Monkey Butt, and then dive head first into a college prep dissemination of Thankskilling, just in time for the holiday!
Episode 16 - Revisiting The Great Dinosaur Hunt with Phil Currie
2020 Nov 061h 4m 38s
Dylan crosses off one of his childhood dreams as he speaks with the highly respected Canadian paleontologist Phil Currie. Currie was a key member of the Canada-China Dinosaur Project, documented in The Great Dinosaur Hunt which Dylan had on repeat on VHS throughout his youth. During their chat, Currie delves into his love of Troodon, what it was like to form the relationship between the Chinese and Canadian parties, following in the footsteps of Roy Chapman Andrews, overcoming limitations and knowing when to quit, unearthing Mamenchisaurus and Sinraptor in the Gobi, rescuing a friend from a blizzard in the Arctic, diving into a gold mine of fossils in the mythic Bayan Mandahu, and remaining hopeful that dinosaurs will keep people's interest in science alive.
Episode 15 - No, Not That John Proctor
2020 Oct 301h 48m 16s
One of Dylan's professors from his college tenure, John Proctor, calls in to discuss the real impact and effects of the Qanon conspiracy theories, including his difficulty with family members who have drank to Q-Aid. In addition to that, they discuss living in a post-Sopranos TV world, what it is like to be friends with former students on social media and their changing relationships with it, battling the US incarceration system, John's connection to The Day After, the radical white nationalist movement (specifically Operation Underground Railroad), why critical thinking has gone out the window, balancing your relationship with artistic peers, attempt to predict the election, and how to address systemic racism. Take a drink every time Dylan says "ultimately."
Episode 14 - Basic Bitch Dinosaur
2020 Oct 231h 48m 37s
It's the podcast 65 million years in the making (Not really, just since September 22nd). Dylan is joined by the final corner of the I Hope You Suffer triangle, Katey Cottrill, to dive deep into Jurassic Park lore, covering the ups and downs of Jurassic World, the original Jurassic Park 4 storyline, the practicalities of a real Jurassic Park, the books, original director choices, and the vast media franchise that JP covers. They also address bad drivers state by state, Katey's spooky and cute influences on her artwork, 80s creature features and ghost flicks, the goddamn struggle of bad Stephen King films, being a dinosaur kid, and if sharks can make noise.
Episode 13 - The Leprechaun Came Out of His What?
2020 Oct 161h 47m 47s
World's collide as podcast universes come together. Nathan and Cait (I Hope You Suffer, Nait & Cait Movie Club) dial in from more southern New Jersey to talk about abandoning VH1 reality show fever dreams, Keanu out acting Pacino, coming to terms with one's Jerseyness (including a pro-Central Jersey stance), finding solace at the drive-in, why Heat's got a great ass, how Ohio is not part of the south and other defining features, dealing with shitty people in music scenes, Alex Jones' wellness campaign, underwater horror movies, Halloween hot takes, leprechauns exploding out of dicks, the king of voices, and the absurdness of Transformers: The Movie.